I have just finished an 8 week course called mindfulness based stress reduction or MBSR as it is known. The impacts of this experience have been both profound and subtle. As mindfulness seems to be a bit of a hot topic I thought I would share my own experience.

Jon Kabat-Zinn who was the creator of the MBSR course over 25 years ago defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally." 

Many corporations are investing in mindfulness training programs as a way to improve the performance and stress management for executives and leaders.

I decided to take the course for both professional and personal reasons.

I became interested in further exploring mindfulness as a way to support myself in my work as an executive coach. The quality of my presence while sitting with clients is paramount. The better I am able to attune to their state the better able I am able to coach and support them.

Another reason I decided to explore this practice was because of the lauded benefit for improving attention and focus. I undertake never ending research as a result of my son’s diagnoses of ADD (and amusingly my own subsequent diagnoses with the exact same thing) and the practice of mindfulness holds great promise.

The key challenge for my son is distractibility. Personally I think he is a bit of a daydreamer (like his mother) but apparently these days it is recommended you take prescription drugs to stamp that type of thing out immediately.

Well I was not happy with that option, so I set off looking for alternative methods that could help improve our attention spans.

During the MBSR course we met every week on Monday night for a couple of hours. We practiced a variety of guided mediations including body scans, moving meditation and breath awareness meditations. We did a lot of sharing of our weekly experience. We also learned some basics of neuroscience and how mindfulness changes the brain in significant ways. We had weekly homework assignments, which included readings and the very important home practices. We also had one-day silent retreat toward the end of the course.

 As I said at the beginning of my blog, the effects have been both profound and subtle. The first week of practice had me feeling very grumpy not the bliss I was looking for at all.

But by the end of week two I began to notice some subtle changes. I was having wonderful quality of sleep every night and waking feeling really refreshed.

Even though two 20-30 minute practices daily seemed like a big time commitment in a busy schedule as I settled into the daily practice my sense of ‘busyness’ seemed to retreat. Somehow I was creating a greater sense of space and time by being more centered and paying attention to the present moment.

As the course proceeded the benefits became more noticeable. One very important one was that I was less impulsive. For example when ordering a coffee I often have an impulse to order some treat to go with it (particularly with the cold weather) but I found myself having the impulse but not acting on it.

The lack of impulsiveness has contributed to an increased sense of attentiveness and focus. I frequently have impulses for distraction from whatever I am working on: get up from chair, click to a news or social media site, go to the fridge. The impulses are still there but now there is a space where I can make a choice not to follow that impulse and stay on task (a major bonus for someone with ADD).

This has helped me feel more productive and more satisfied by whatever I am doing. I also feel I have greater sense of clarity on what is most important for me to focus on at any given time.

Interestingly, anger, an emotion I have mostly suppressed all of my life seems to come charging in freely (not frequently) but I also move through this emotional state very quickly. Not sure if that will be a good thing for my husband or not but it is what it is.

Also I am experiencing strong joy surges aka rosy glows over really simple stuff: a warm cappuccino on a cold morning, or going for a bush walk with my family. Food tastes better and music sounds better and no I am not smoking anything!!

Possibly one of the most wonderful effects of my mindfulness practice is that I feel freer and happier. And even when the uncomfortable or challenging moments arise I seem to be able to move through them more smoothly with less reactivity.

The body of research on the mental and physical health benefits is growing substantially. I watched a lecture last week by Dr. Craig Hassed who is a GP and senior lecturer from Monash University. He teaches, researches and writes about the health benefits of mindfulness and the evidence he presented is compelling. The healing effect on the body of mindfulness works right down to the cellular level. It is also a powerful antidote to depression. Apparently there is significant evidence to show that the practice of mindfulness even slows the ageing process. I am very hopeful about that benefit.

So my husband has already signed up for the next course without much encouragement from me. I think that is solid proof of the positive effects that he has observed in me.

 My next little research project is mindfulness for kids. A mindful family life sounds pretty good to me!!!

 If you are interested in hearing more get in touch with Kate Mathers  [email protected] at the Institute of Executive Coaching and Leadership (IECL) in Sydney. Kate is an absolutely delightful human being and a wonderful mindfulness teacher.

Recently my 8 year old son had to do a project on inventions. The task was to interview a grandparent or someone older about an invention that had the biggest influence on their lives and then research and present on it. My son decided to interview a wonderful gentleman in our building who is 94 years old and most definitely considered a special grand friend (GF). After much consideration our GF said that the radio was the invention that most influenced his life. As a young boy being able to hear the cricket and follow Don Bradman’s achievements from his living room sparked his imagination and curiosity about the world.

During the conversation though, GF said he had a tricky time picking that one invention because so much has happened in his lifetime that was truly wondrous. In fact he thought that it may be that everything truly wonderful (radio, TV , space travel and the internet) has come to pass. What could possibly be in our future that would cause us to feel such wonder and astonishment?

This got me worried. Was he right? Could that be the case? So I started to think about wonder in my own life.  When did I last feel wonder? Or had been amazed by something?

I realized that I have actually experienced wonder this year and in the most unlikely places…Boardrooms, networking lunches, conferences, workshops and breakfast seminars.  In the places where corporate Australia gathers to learn, network , strategize, plan and discuss business, people are practicing mindfulness together.

Mindfulness is a mental state of increased focus, heightened awareness and openness.  It is inspired by the Buddhist tradition of meditation and  some say it came into the mainstream in the west as a result of a book “The Miracle of Mindfulness" by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk once nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr.

It is showing up in the business environments because of the reams of academic research that is emerging from Universities around the world showing the many benefits for not only improving performance, engagement and creativity but also for greater health and happiness.  Research shows that the practice of mindful leadership cultivates the traits of clarity, focus, creativity and compassion. If you are keen to have a closer look at the research check out:  https://goamra.org

Leaders are starting meetings with ‘quiet time’; a moment to become present to the people and task at hand. They are inviting people to really come into the room and into the meeting fully.  A few moments of quiet with closed eyes. Time to observe the breath.

This trend was covered   in a recent article in the Australian Financial Review”  showing how this is being embraced by many organizations in Australia not only corporations but in  sporting and education sectors as well. http://www.afr.com/p/business/companies/keep_calm_and_carry_interest_business_mIJZMCSTHW7w16u9mjWhHI

I believe the trend has really taken hold as we become aware of the negative impact that technology can have on our ability concentrate and focus.

To see these simple practices show up in the corporate environment has caused me to feel amazed every time it happens.

Some of my corporate experiences in the past were less than ideal to put it mildly and without a doubt the practice of mindfulness would have made a difference. Overtime if the trend continues to grow I think we will see kinder and calmer work environments resulting in greater engagement and productivity.

Not only has it caused wonder, It has also caused me to feel hope. When leadership comes from a place that is mindful and centered it becomes more authentic which has the potential to create ripples of authenticity and courage that flow out from the workplace and into our lives as well.

Our special neighbor, GF, went on to have a long career as a journalist because of that wondrous invention called Radio and to this day he writes letters to the editor and blogs on many topics. He maintains a wonderful spark of curiosity for life and the world, which I find very inspiring.

Without a doubt we all need a little wonder and hope in our lives.
Wishing you a mindful Christmas and joyful new year and  I hope for you that  wonders never cease.

Last week, I listened to an interview with Hugh McKay, social researcher and author about his new book “The Art of Belonging”. He spoke of the important effect that social connection and sense of belonging have on our well being and happiness.  He suggested the changing structure of our society is having a major impact on how or where we derive our sense of belonging. In the past, belonging was something we experienced close to home in our neighborhood. But increasingly people are finding a sense of belonging elsewhere.

Belonging is that sense of being part of something where you are accepted; And can bring feelings of inclusion, safety and identity.  Having a strong sense of belonging is a good predictor of mental health and flourishing in life.

In the interview it was suggested that today people are more likely to derive a sense of belonging and connection from their workplace or on-line then their own neighborhoods as was in the past.

I recently ran a workshop for a sales team using some positive psychology techniques as a way to boost job performance. The organization is a high pressure demanding work environment. The practice I was introducing was ‘gratitude”.   The practice entails setting a regular time of the day where you note down or mentally focus on the things that are good about your workplace. This practice has been proven to boost happiness and improve resilience to stress.

In the workshop shop I asked everyone to write down 3 things that they were grateful for at work and then share that with group. It was a lovely moment when every single person acknowledged the friendship, support and connection with colleagues as something they were grateful for.  It is not something we often acknowledge publically and rarely at work.

It certainly supports the notion the workplace is becoming a very important place for people to experience a sense of belonging.

Smart employers are the ones who actively foster and nurture this connection and sense of community at work. This organization I mentioned also did some volunteer work as a team putting back into the community in a very hands on way.  I am sure this helped to strengthen this sense of belonging and connection to each other.

Hugh McKay says “ communities can be magical places, but the magic comes from us, not to us.”

This is a very important distinction. Regardless of where we work, how good or poor the leadership, we can still create a sense belonging and connection. It takes effort from us to make that happen. To slow down from being so busy, ticking things off our to do list and attune to others with kindness and consideration. It is a choice. It is an Art. It is something we create.

 

 

Recently at a networking lunch an old friend and former colleague asked a question that my 8 year old boy asks me all the time: “if you could have any superhero power what would it be”?

Having much practice at answering this question I quickly said the ability to be invisible whenever I wanted. My old friend said that the one superhero power that he would really love to have was the ability to truly understand another person’s perspective. He felt it would be the most powerful skill of all..but really not possible as a mere mortal.

This all-powerful skill he was describing I call ‘Empathy’.  His interest in empathy was from the perspective of a senior marketing leader for one of Australia’s largest public organizations. He was intrigued by the notion of the power of truly understanding your customer’s perspective.

My interest in empathy is from the perspective of an executive coach with a passionate interest in workplace engagement and performance. For me my performance as a coach is based on my ability to be empathetic. It is an essential skill that I must cultivate and bring to the table in every coaching conversation.  Nothing happens without it. So I endeavor to do empathy every day!

But our conversation got me thinking about and researching empathy and it’s potential power in the workplace, Could it increase engagement and performance of employees? Is it an essential skill for all leaders? Could it be a ‘competitive’ edge?

At its essence empathy is really our ability to connect with and understand others. It is the ability to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, to think how they think, feel how they feel, and anticipate how they will react or respond in different situations.

To be seen, heard and understood at work; I cannot think of a more important component to increase engagement and enhance performance.

There has been extensive research on the relationship between leadership effectiveness and levels of empathy demonstrated. High levels of empathy have been shown to build trust,  improve retention, increase motivation levels and deepen employee-leader relationships. A 2013 study published in the International Journal of Economics Business and Management Studies http://tinyurl.com/ov2xnuc  revealed a strong correlation between the level of empathy demonstrated by organizations leaders and the level of leadership effectiveness.

Empathy is good for business and it is good for employees.

It seems we are actually wired for empathy. Marco Iacoboni, an Italian Neuroscientist discovered areas in our brain that maps to or mirrors  the patterns in the brains of others. They are called ‘mirror neurons’ and they are evidence of the fact that we are social animals and connection with others is not only essential for engagement and performance at work but to our survival and sense of well-being.

So the good news is that empathy not just a superhero power but a skill that can be learned and developed. In fact, a number of top business schools are teaching empathy as an integral part of leadership and communication coursework.

The key practices of being more empathetic are:

·      Become curious about others.

·      Challenge your biases and stereotypes and look for common ground.

·      Imagine what is like to be the other person & appreciate their perspective.

·      Listen actively and deeply—and share some of yourself.

It takes a bit of extra time and effort to listen with empathy but the benefits are well worth it. If you are not sure about this notion spend a few minutes reflecting on how you felt when someone was empathetic with you at work. What did it do for you? How did it effect your relationship with that person?

If you are curious about how empathetic you are?

Take the free Empathy Quiz  offered by Berkeley University: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/14

Alternatively you could try and source a “Point-of View” (POV) gun as in The Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy. When the POV  is fired at someone it causes them to see the perspective of the person who pulled the trigger; although you would have to lend the gun to others and have it fired at yourself. My son would love this! Truly a superhero weapon! Imagine the good it would do in parliament houses, war zones, boardrooms and school-yards around the world.


“Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good,

and melt at other's woe”.   Homer

 

Leadership is basically defined as facilitating high performance in employees. Employee engagement surveys measure employee’s commitment to their role and organization and are a useful indicator of performance. In Australia the number of employees reporting that they are ‘engaged' are consistently low. Depending on whose research you look at somewhere between 20-30% of employees say they are engaged. The remaining 70-80% are disengaged! This has a big impact on performance within organizations. So if the main function of leadership is facilitating performance, well something is missing.

If you delve into the research on employee engagement one of the top factors that impact on engagement levels is the nature of the relationship with the employee’s direct manager.

So if you want to strengthen your relationships with your employees and influence their engagement and performance where do you start?

One possibility is to develop your emotional intelligence. Daniel Goldman who is considered by many the pioneer in the field of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ has written many books on the concept. In his book ‘Working with Emotional Intelligence’ (EI) he offers a definition of EI that includes self-awareness, self management, social awareness and the ability to manage relationships.  

The great news is that unlike IQ, EI is something that can be developed and learned over time and you can start at any time without even leaving your chair.

Here are 4 “emotional habits’ that you can practice that will help cultivate your EQ and improve your leadership effectiveness.

1) Tune into your emotions.

Thoughts cause emotions & emotions drive behaviors, decisions and performance.  According to the research of Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, a human being has approximately 60,000 thoughts per day. How aware are you of these thoughts and emotions as they as they flow through you?  How do they enhance or detract from your performance?

Just pausing to feel an emotion without labeling it good or bad and inquire into the underlying thoughts on a regular basis will provide you with a lot of useful information. What thoughts patterns are there?  Are they accurate? Are they helpful? Are they supporting you?  This will improve self-awareness, which is the foundation to good emotional intelligence.

2 Know who and what pushes your buttons.

We all have people or situations in our lives that cause a strong emotional reaction in us. This is called a ‘trigger’.  It might be a colleague who is always late that annoys you and throws you off your game. Or it might be a situation where you feel your work is being criticized or a presentation to a large group of people. Each of these situations can cause a strong emotional response, which causes your ‘higher level’ thinking to slow or stop completely. It is called an amygdala high-jack or the flight, fight or freeze response. Whatever form it takes it can seriously undermine your performance. There is usually a pattern to these triggers. Spend sometime reflecting back on incidents in the past when you have felt triggered. What or who was involved, what happened and how did it make you feel? If you can get clear on what the triggers are and why, you have a much better chance of being able to ‘know’ when it is happening and begin the process to calm your self down and move back to a state of high performance.

3 Revive your self-esteem after setbacks.

 Missed revenue targets. Project delays. Uncooperative staff. Common setbacks at work. When we experience setbacks or failure it can really distort our perceptions. Goals seem harder to reach and we begin to question our skills and abilities. This can lead to a downward spiral of lowered motivation and lowered productivity. If you are dealing with a setback take time to observe and challenge those thoughts that bubble up around the event.  What is the self-talk that is happening? Is it accurate? Is it helpful?. What can you learn from it? What can be tweaked or changed the next time? If you work through this process with yourself or your employees whenever a setback occurs, you build a ‘trait’ called resilience. Resilience is one of great benefits of high EI and can enhance performance in many areas of life.

4 Show you care (the incredible power of positive emotions).

Sawubona” is a common Zulu greeting which basically means, “we see you” , the word is an invitation to truly witness another’s presence.

Take a personal interest in people. Show people that you care, and have a genuine curiosity about their lives. Look for opportunities to show that you see, appreciate and acknowledge their efforts or struggle; this can have powerful impact on motivation and performance. Your employees will feel trust, safe and ‘seen’ - the basis to a strong relationship. 

Developing emotional intelligence is a process or journey that unfolds over time with a little knowledge, consistent practice and genuine intention. It can change your life!